I've had a very productive day today!  Went and got a new pair of running shoes and allowed myself to feel privileged at being chatted up by the young guy who was serving me.  Now have a good pair of shoes which shall hopefully not give me shin pain.  No idea what I got but they are ASICS and I don't remember if they were trainer approved! LOL!

Also went and bought some new workout clothes as well as underwear for work and working out.  Finished off with a last minute grocery shop so that I am sorted for lunch foods at work.

Today I am terrrrrrribly sore.  Had a killer session yesterday morning and then ladies kickboxing in the afternoon. 

So... I've received a bit of feedback from family and friends alike that I should aim a little higher with my career choice. I've spent quite a bit of time thinking and researching this proposal.  I have subsequently altered my plan of attack.   Version two will be that at the end of this year I put in an application through QTAC for Bond Med, ACU Midwif, SBIT Anaes. and QUT Med Sci.    (I can hear RJ shrieking at me already about UQ being the only place in the universe to study med).   I will obtain a GAMSAT prep course (the choices....) and complete GAMSAT next year and then reapply at the end of next year for only med based courses.

Bond uni does not run from GAMSAT and has FEE-HELP places.  They do an interview and prefer a GPA of >5.5 on the most recent course of study.  My GPA is 5.375 thanks to my stodgy efforts in early uni.  I figure that I can throw my hat in the ring and see what happens. 

After that, Midwifery is ideal because it is a low demand course locally which will allow me to making a killing on the GPA scale.  Worst comes to worst, I qualify as a midwife and that is totally sweet with me - it was something that I thought was interesting after placement at Redcliffe while studying to be a paramedic.  So, after a year of that I reapply to everything offering medicine.  I figure that I am not going to be fussy. I just want to get in.  Obviously, UQ with all the reputational glory would be ideal but their entry is based solely on GAMSAT now.  Bond will take more interest in me with a good GPA and Griffith... well... who knows. 

The other preferences are there as a safety net along the way... for a whole lot of just in case.

Off to a boxing and kickboxing double tonight.  Should have some company with RB this time... be nice to have a familiar face amongst the crowd!

Today has been a pretty awesome day! 

Bit of a sleep-in this morning and then drove up Glass House Mountain way and tackled Mt. Beerburrum with K.  It was even steeper than I remember but we got up it a lot faster than I remember doing it last time. I had my backpack with our water bottles and phones.  It felt like as anything... until we hit the side and suddenly it was really, really hard!!! LOL!  We swapped the pack around a couple of times but eventually made it to the top.  Spent a a little while on top of the lookout just chatting about life before meandering back down.  Then it was off to the Coffee Club for lunch.  Was good and had a lean ham and tomato relish wrap. 

We are planning to go back and have a go out Mt. Tibrogargan in about a fortnight. Last time I went up there was NYE. We got a fair way up before we had to climb... which was a little bit hard to do given the backpack and giant torch in the darkness.  It will be good to have another go during daylight without the extra bits in the hand.  Love that K is so keen to go adventuring with me. Pity we aren't on the same side of the river or we'd make great gym buddies.

So, anyway...  I've been feeling a bit frustrated with my current place of employment and have been pottering around in circles trying to find somewhere else I could be.  I am not even sure how I found it... but I stumbled across a professional entitled "anaesthetic technician" and I just went WOW! THAT EXISTS!?  Yeah ok... so it is the personal slave of the anaesthetist but it sounds awesome!  Yes, a pay cut.  Yes, probably shift work. But goodness... nice controlled environment away from the elements, no dealing with non-emergency patients and looking at all sorts of fun surgical procedures!  So, at this stage, I am looking to drop back into casual employment while I complete an 18 month TAFE course.

I've been such an academic snob.  I've always been against TAFE and diploma wasn't good enough.  But then I did a degree in paramedic which turned out to be less useful than an Arts degree... so I've come to have a bit more of an open minded. 

I did consider going into Medicine and specialising in anaesthetics, obstetrics or fertility. I also considered midwifery.  But I think a year and a half on a wage and a bit will be rough enough, let alone three or longer. It is a scary, scary thing and I will give it some time to make sure I am happy with the decision but I think, the plunge has gotta be taken if anything is going to change.

Here's to a new start!

I'm absolutely stuffed!!!  I have not been this sore in such a long time.  My whole body is pain and it hurts to so much as roll over in bed! Possibly went a little bit too hard in my first week!

Wednesday night I did the stand up boxing and kick boxing double.  Haven't been feeling so hot since that point!

I am absolutely LOVING this stuff!!  I am hungry to learn more and to get better.  It has been ages since I've Youtubed like a crazy ass trying to learn more! 

Boxing was taken by a trainer called Bolash.  He has a very thick accent but I generally was able to work out what I needed to do.  There was a good mix of fitness and technical training.  We actually played shoulders and knees!  Actually, it was more like heads and ankles but it was something I was familiar with and could do quite well. Boxing the bag was alright. Shadow boxing was alright. Sparring was NOT alright. Myself and the other new guy were only allowed to do jabs and I felt like a white belt ALL over again.  I mean fully retarded!!!  I couldn't see anything coming and whenever I did stick my fist out, it was at a completely inappropriate time and I walked into quite a few punches. Every time I went to punch my other hand would try and return to my ribs and end up dropping down into some random useless position.  Oh well, practise and I'll get better I suppose!

The fitness side was pretty hard core with lots of burpees. The rest of the group were soooo fast!!  I thought groups of 10 burpees was enough... until we did bag work and each set was broken up by 50 push ups and 50 sit ups.  I looked around and not a single person batted an eyelid... and again just ripped through it.  Then of course there were the burpees from hell which involved jumping up, grabbing the edge of the supporting roof struts and doing a chin up in between.  This was challenging for two reasons.  I had to get over my fear of missing the ledge for a start... the other part being unable to do a chin up which means I hung for a second, strained a bit before plopping back down into a burpee. My fingers are actually bruised from that!

There were two other girls in the class who had clearly been doing it for a while. One had me totally impressed, not only could she bash things really well, she could do proper push ups and chin ups!  I gotta get like her!!!!

The hour class seemed long and I felt I had worked hard.

The next session was kickboxing with a smaller guy called Adam.  There were quite a few people who I could see were less experienced.  I didn't make a point of saying I was new.  We started with skipping and shadow boxing.  Even though I felt awkward as anything, I kept telling myself "fake it until you make it" and did my best to adapt karate to boxing with my technique.  Must have done alright cause when he gathered us newer folks around he pointed to me and said "so you've done some kickboxing before"... cue feeling internally chuffed!  The more experienced people were in the ring sparring.  The rest of us were learning how to catch kicks, destroy the opponent and then escape from a caught kick.  That was more painful because of repetition.  We finished off the session with bag work.

I really feel my weakness in terms of footwork and combination creativity are marked doing this stuff but I do hope to improve in time.  I also struggled a bit with breaking out of non-contact punch pulling mode. I am there with Bolash and he's like "try and hit me!!!". Part of it was a respect thing... coming from a culture where you don't hit the sensei. Part of it was because I didn't really know how to try to actually sock a person unless in competition or very angry! It is funny though, in boxing the shoulders get raised when punching as a protective mechanism and that just is so natural to me.  Perhaps I will find my forte in kick boxing!

Yesterday morning PT turned sore upper body into equally sore lower body and then got flogged in boot camp (which was indoors) this morning.  I am so incredibly sore but I feel awesome!!!  It has been ages since I have felt this good.  Last night I declined take away and had pasta as a side serving to vegetables.  WHAT?!?  Pasta as a SIDE SERVING!? Since when do I do that!?? I am feeling so inspired to eat well.  I want to get lean and I want to get stronger.  I want to be good at this!  Can't wait to sort out my new training schedule!  I know I have gone nuts because I just want to do something everyday!  I know now I have to rest.  I can barely do push ups on my knees due to fatigue so really gotta rest but it is calling me!!

Tomorrow I am going to tackle Mt Beerburrum with K.  Cannot wait! I haven't been up since NYE with B.  Mt. Beerburrum is paved track.  In the beginning I thought it was soft but it suddenly gets very steep and just having a simple backpack with water on made the going sooo tough.  There was a lot of wheezing and soreness!  That was before sunrise even.  Tomorrow we are heading out in the morning but will probably be setting off at about 10am.  Hopefully, the cooler weather will serve us well!  Should be great!!!

So I am on the count down back to work.  I can't say I am really looking forward to it.  December seems like a long time away for more holidays and universe will have changed in that time! lol!  I have that horrible itch yet again to do something different.  I wouldn't mind being a civilian with normal hours of work.  I'd miss all the holidays and days off but something different would just be divine!  Problem is that I am not really qualified to do a whole lot other than ambulance work and I only have management experience as opposed to qualifications.  But who knows... might start doing some digging!

Brrrrrr! It is COLD this morning!!

Sooooo.... with much nervous anxiety, I went off to my first kickboxing session last night and I have to say that I absolutely LOVED  it!

The gym is slightly run down with use but feels cozy as anything!  There are all manner of kick bags and targets hanging from the ceilings, attached to walls and even free standing. Evidence of some written physical nightmares, skipping ropes, steps, chin up contraptions and for goodness knows what reason, a massive flat screen TV.  At the back, there is even a boxing ring! 

The staff are incredibly friendly and I was floored the co-owner, this elite champion with rippling abs actually noticed my existence and said hello. 

It was apparently a rare night where most of the crowds had stayed away because of the cold.  The boxing class had only one student and the ladies gig was comprised of just the four of us.  I was taken by a woman who I could see had a wealth of experience.  She was very encouraging and able to provide sensible instruction, catering to each of our needs.  I didn't get much of a chance to sticky beak at where the other girls were at although I knew one was new and the other two didn't have a fighting or great fitness background.

After getting over my initial nervousness, I felt completely at home and HUNGRY to learn.  Bringing my guard back to my face instead of the floating rib proved to be a great challenge and all my usual weaknesses were uncovered pretty quickly.  We did a fair bit of punching and kicking bags as well as combination work before moving onto some progressive fatigue exercises utilising either push ups or crunches with either jabs or palm heel strike.  Finally, we did some very basic self defence...  Funnily enough... nothing new... things I'd done before in GKR.  In fact, there weren't any concepts in the whole session which I hadn't learned through GKR but I was given the attention to fix errors.

Spending a good hour belting things was hard work. I was had a decent sweat and a stitch by the end of it. It wasn't brutal but it was a great deal of fun.  So I signed up.  $20/week on the winter special which entitles to me unlimited access to classes.  There is boxing on every night, followed by kickboxing Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Boxing Saturday morning and the ladies alternative on Tuesday evenings. Talk about stunning value!  I am totally, totally stoke and can say that I haven't felt this enthusiastic about anything since I started karate.  Ever get this feeling like things were just meant to be???


As a side note, it has been a busyish week so far.  Caught up with K1 on Monday and was literally pwned by the sunshine coast.  Yeah... never trust google maps or my stupid phone again which couldn't locate my position to save itself.  Last night I checked again only to see that it thought I was a whole suburb north of my bedroom.  So, always look at the refidex - never go with wrong that!  Don't I just sound like an old fashioned biddy!! We went out for lunch and then spent a few hours chatting about everything work, uni, love, leisure, life etc.    Yesterday I tripped around to pick up some supplements and procrastinated terribly before calling about the sessions. (So glad that I Niked!). Today, catching up with L at Carindale for lunch and movie probably.  See how I go for the rest of the week.  Maybe catching up with K2 over the weekend. But I probably also need to conserve a little bit of my time next week before I have to start back at work.  Boy I wish I could put the brakes on that!

Going back for the boxing and kickboxing double tonight!

At the end of last year, after nine years of GKR Karate, I graded to nidan.  While I was all enthusiastic after that point, I was soon met with both a change of management and some Christmas holidays which quite decidedly killed my motivation.  GKR has been a part of my life for a long time.  In fact, my affiliation with that organisation has run longer than any other in my short life. 

I started in middle high school.  My immediate friendship circle thought it would be cool to do and when GKR came knocking, they signed up.  After much hassling of my poor parents, they agreed to let me join on the grounds of being ideal for self defence.  From day one, I loved it!!  I used to train on a Wednesday night at the local PCYC and could not wait for that night to come around each week. 

Unfortunately, I did allow myself to become involved in the politics, taking on a sempai role immediately after my 3rd kyu grading and later instructing my own class in two different regions.  While it is not a decision that I would undo, it definitely changed my perspective on the club irreversibly. 

GKR is very addictive and draws heavily on the power of social connections to keep both students and instructors returning, long after their interest has flagged.  I have learned in the martial arts world that every organisation believes they are right, the best and only way.  GKR definitely had its limitations but I hadn't really found them to be obstructive to my own personal goals.  However, after nidan I began to reassess what it was that I really wanted and another quarter dozen years of training for another certificate with no greater goal than perfecting the basics under the uninspiring management of a boy barely old enough to drive... just didn't seem appealing. (Yes this is a gross and derogatory simplification of reality). Time lapsed.... 

These holidays have been refreshing and I've been trying to reorganise my life such that I enjoy it.  I realised that I missed having a focus, something to enjoy and dedicate my time towards.  I considered training again but knew deep down that it was time for a change.  GKR being a mixture of GoJuRyu and Shotokan gave me a taste of two worlds.  My preference lied heavily towards Shotokan and that was a style I wanted to pursue.  I also wanted to do something that was going to be a little "harder" than sports karate.  Unfortunately, I found that I had difficulty locating organisations with training opportunities that would be accessible with any frequency around shift work.  Looking around at galleries and videos of different clubs, it also became quite obvious that although GKR is considered the McDonalds on the martial arts world, there were very few places that actually produced students of a significant higher quality and what I consider to be important has also been tainted by GKR ideals.

It was on suggestion from a friend that I started to look outside gis, ranks and belts.  I was lucky to find a local training centre for boxing , kickboxing and muay thai. They also offer classes most days and sometimes more than one class per night!  Stoked! I finally got the guts up to call today and tonight will be heading to my first session.  It is a womens class which is all non-contact but it will be a great start and allow me to familiarise without getting too scared.  I am soooo excited!!!  I am hoping that this will work well and then I can combine it with weights and PT to become a lean, mean fighting machine!   Okay... perhaps not quite like that but drop the extra body fat and regain some of my fitness while learning to actually use my arms in a more functional way than sports karate will allow!

Hopefully, hopefully it will mean the physical/leisure side of life is squared away and then I can worry about work after that.

I'm just over half way through my third week of holidays... with another week and a half to go.  I can't believe how quickly time has passed and am definitely glad that I got four weeks as I would otherwise be starting back tomorrow!

This last week or so has been particularly busy but very enriching at the same time.  I downloaded DosBox and have loaded SimCity 2000 and One Must Fall... two of my old favourites.  Then while I was YouTubing various old games that I adore, I discovered this AWESOME program called Exult which would effectively allow me to run Ultima VII for the first time in YEARS!  I have always had a soft spot for Ultima VII and was nothing short of ecstatic at being able to run it on a modern computer!  Of all the games I used to play, this one absorbed HOURS of my time.  Admittedly it didn't run very well in some aspects and used to crash.  It was a complex RPG and I only vaguely understood what was going on.... I never really knew enough to actually complete the games but spent countless hours running around killing animals and people, getting stronger and more powerful (to the point I could crack open a locked chest and destroy doors with my sword) as well as disturbing the locals.  This would involve getting up to mischief like moving their food off the plate in the bar or around their home and prior to being able to kill anyone with a single blow, hitting them with my sword just to make them flee.  Perhaps someone should have been more concerned about my mental health at that point!  LOL!

Now I have a far better understanding in regards to what I am to achieve but I am also privy to some wonderful cheats which make the game substantially easier. I still enjoy heckling the locals and have only slaughtered one sheep, simply to make sure I could actually kill things.  (I was initially perplexed why at the start of the game I couldn't just thwack open a door or chest in way that I used to!).

Apart from my revived interest in archaic games (they don't make them like they used to anymore), I also found myself in Borders where I picked up a small bundle of books.  There is nothing quite like a good book to suck out the time and I am presently buried in one called War by Sebastian Junger. There is something that I have always found to be deeply fascinating about war and all that it represents. So now three quarters of the way through this book, I will have another three to keep my occupied... unless I find a copy of Oddworld: Abe's Odyssee and then... who knows!

I have also spent a great deal of time catching up with friends and family... think it is about time I sprung the parentals soon too.  Today I caught up with R and we went scouting for angel sculptures in the Toowong Cemetery.  Now this is something that had a great deal of novelty value for me as I have up until this point, never been inside a cemetery.  Toowong is big.  There is a great expanse of plots.  Some are large and elaborate with monuments, monoliths and fences, while others are just a mere A3 sized plaque on the ground.  Row upon, row.  Many damaged by the elements or vandals.  Some where the ground has sunk away between the coffins or collapsed out from underneath the top layer of cement.  One was only a few months old and still a pile of rubble, waiting to settle.  There were photos, flowers, harps and angels.  There was even a version of "the thinker"...  While sad, it was also beautiful in its own way and so incredibly peaceful. 

Standing in the room with a dead person is an odd thing.  There is a silence there that is heavier than any other silence and perhaps as R suggested, a sense of finality.  Looking at a body, there is the expectation that at any moment it might just move, spring to life, start to breath, do something.  But it never does.  The cemetery is like an extension of that... a mass of unmoving rest.  It is very attractive somehow and I think I shall go back there and adopt someone's family member as my own to sit and contemplate the universe in the beautiful silence. 

Anyhow, after a few hours scouting around to find angels, we headed over to Toowong Village for lunch, coffee and a good chat.  It is this contact that I have missed so much over the last six months.  Sometimes life seems to get in the way of life and I am afraid I haven't done much living this year.  But I guess the realisation is the first step towards change. Now that I have one foot out there, the intention is to keep walking!

I've also had the opportunity to catch up with my sister and her two children recently.  Baby R is now eight weeks old and has already grown a great deal. He opens his eyes and looks around, gazing and following objects, occasionally giving off the most beautiful smile. He absolutely adores K, his six (soon to be seven) year old sister.  No matter how upset he seems to be, her touch and voice seems to be all that is needed to calm him while his gaze locks on to her.  K is just over half way through year one now and has grown unspeakably since starting prep and particularly school.  Having R around now, I have so many memories of when K was a baby herself and all the things we used to do.  K is at a great age that I can relate to very well.  I always promised myself that I wouldn't forget what it is like to be a kid and I think I've done pretty well in retaining that information.  I really enjoy playing with her and she is just the most amazing intelligent little person I know.  Part of me gets a little frustrated because I have this enormous adult body that can't do kid things anymore... and it is a bit lazy and tires easily.  Although, that is probably for the best because I suspect H would not be altogether very impressed with me if I taught K how to swing around in circles of the hills hoist or hang upside down!

I feel like I've missed a lot and these holidays have really highlighted to me that if I am not careful they'll have all grown up and I won't even see it.  I really need to make more of a concerted effort to make myself available and spend time over there. I want to be a better Aunty x2. :-)

On another note, one of my old high school mates has returned to Brisbane... eight years later.  Somehow, I can't believe that much time has passed and honestly don't feel altogether hugely different as a person.  Many of the things which drew J, A and I together are still ever present in our exchanges.  I also hope to catch up with these girls a little more regularly as well.  It is funny how even though time passes and can be months, sometimes many, many months between each get together, we are still as comfortable as ever and conversation flows ever so easily.  I guess that is the marker of friendship right....

So, all going to plan, I'm going back over to H's on Friday and I am greatly looking forward to the opportunity to spend time with all members a little more personally (although young R might well sleep through that encounter!).  I have one more week and a bit to play with and I intend to split that between social time and self time.