•Saturday, January 17, 2009
I'm in a bad mood.
I didn't start off that way.
I get angry at being let down. I get angry at finding myself on the predictable path towards let down.
Then I get angry at anything that would normally be a minor annoyance.
That is the point when it is all about me. I want you to know I'm angry. I want you to feel what I feel. I want to get what I want despite you because clearly I don't need you. You are not the boss of me. You do not make the decision here. I want you to know that like you know your own name.
If you should surprise me and I find myself not so disappointed or when you concede the error of you ways I shall return to being a soft touch.
Until then, only time will make a temporary bridge. Like a repeatedly broken bone, easier to shatter than before.
No expectations, no pain. Don't say things without the intention of following up just to justify your actions. I prefer blunt selfish honesty. I can be discontent with your selfish ways but find my own way around. It means YOU are flawed... not us. It won't break my trust. I won't be inclined not to believe you. I can do without you hurting me.
FFS laziness - I hate it.
And still I can't shift this angry weight... FEEL ME
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