I actually listened to the doctor's advice and downed a fistful of Temaze before bed last night. I still woke up but I don't really remember doing so except for the early hours of the morning. I also felt much better toady.

Signed up for broadband1 with iinet and so hopefully should be back up and running on Tuesday or Wednesday... with much faster speeds!

I went to the dump. I like going to the dump. It is a male dominated environment and I like showing off how I can reverse my car using only my side mirrors. Problem is that I reverse and leave enough space that I can open my back doors and get the stretcher out... The stretcher I don't have when I am not at work! lol! That's alright. Those same men help me back it up a bit further. ;-)

I enjoyed throwing my garbage bags as far as my arms would let me.

I did something else tonight. I returned my instructor gear. I realised tonight that it was time. I was ready to really let go. I even returned my ID card this time. I threw out every last bit of my GKR folder. All the terminology sheets, grading slips etc. Everything. I even gave away my orange and yellow tape. Now I can really say that I have moved on... I walked into the dojo one last time and I didn't feel a shred of regret or doubt. Only pride for what I had achieved in the last months. I am happy and secure. :-)

Now, the highlight of my day was getting to finally go back to our house for the first time since we signed the form offering our financial futures to the owners. It is always different when its empty but as I walked through, I knew it was right. I felt it. Everything was just bigger and better. There were good things I hadn't seen the first two times. Then I reached the two smaller bedrooms. One was pink and the other yellow. I looked at the giraffe wallpaper, the animal pictures and netting they'd left behind and I realised that was going to be my baby's room.

It was a completely overwhelming feeling and spent the next 15 minutes crying with elation. My home is perfect. I wonder what it is that I have done to deserve such a reward. What more could I ask for???

I am ever so grateful to the previous owners too. They left behind a few bits and pieces to help us including weed killer, paint, matting, tiles, potting mix, home pest control etc. There was also a really lovely hamper with a note which I've not yet had a chance to read. I just feel so privileged and thankful in a way that I can't adequately express in words. This is a memory I wish to hold on for a long time to come...